AICE General Paper · Concrete Detail

The one habit that moves a General Paper essay out of the middle band —
what concrete detail is, how to build it, where to find it, and a 601-word model

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How to use this page: General Paper rewards essays that know things. In the Cambridge AS Level 8021 mark scheme, Content (relevant, well-supported material) sits beside Knowledge and Argument — and bare opinion scores poorly in all three. A concrete detail (CD) is a specific, checkable thing: a statistic with a source, a named person, an event with a date, a place or institution, a law or policy, a comparable case. This page gives you the formula, six CD types, ten sentence templates, a topic-by-topic evidence bank, a full model essay with every CD highlighted, and a self-check. Everything here is written by hand for Windlume — no copyrighted material is reproduced.

1. Why General Paper marks turn on concrete detail

General Paper examiners read hundreds of essays a day, and almost all of them say the same things in the same soft way: technology has changed our lives, education is important, we should protect the environment. These sentences are not wrong — they are unfalsifiable, which is why they earn nothing. A concrete detail is falsifiable: it can be checked, dated and argued with, so it lets the examiner see knowledge rather than opinion.

What each mark-scheme row is really asking:
Content — Is there relevant material here, or only the prompt restated? (This is where CD lives.)
Knowledge — Does the writer know specifics about the world: names, events, figures, laws?
Argument — Is each claim supported and then explained, or merely asserted?
A vague sentence fails all three at once; one concrete detail can lift all three at once.
Topic
✗ Vague — earns nothing
✓ Concrete — earns Content + Knowledge
Social media
Social media spreads a lot of false information.
In 2018 United Nations investigators concluded that Facebook had played a “contributing role” in the violence against the Rohingya in Myanmar.
Environment
The planet is getting hotter and world leaders are not doing enough.
The IPCC’s 2021 report found that global surface temperature had already risen about 1.1 °C above the 1850–1900 level, while the Paris Agreement’s target is to hold warming “well below 2 °C”.
Health
Vaccines have saved many lives around the world.
The World Health Organization declared smallpox eradicated in 1980 — the first human disease ever wiped out, after a campaign that began in 1967.
Poverty
Poverty is still a huge problem in developing countries.
The World Bank estimates that the share of the world’s population in extreme poverty fell from roughly 36% in 1990 to about 10% in 2015 — but defines “extreme poverty” as living on under $2.15 a day.
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2. The CD formula and where it goes

A concrete detail does not decorate an argument — it performs it. The reliable pattern is four moves, and the last one is the one students skip: say why the detail supports you. A fact dropped in and abandoned is only half a mark.

Move 1

Claim

State the point of the paragraph as a debatable sentence, tied to the question.

Move 2

Concrete detail

Give one specific, checkable fact: number, name, date, place, law or parallel case.

Move 3

Analysis

One or two sentences on why that fact supports the claim — the mechanism, not a restatement.

Move 4

Link back

Tie the paragraph to the essay question in one sentence so the marker can see the relevance.

Rule of thumb: at least two concrete details per body paragraph. One detail is an anecdote; two details let you compare, corroborate or contrast, which is where Argument marks come from. Across a typical GP essay (5–7 paragraphs) that means eight to twelve distinct, non-repeated details. Repeating the same statistic in three paragraphs hides the fact that you only know one thing.

Where the CD physically sits in the sentence

1

Inside the sentence (appositive)

The detail rides along with the subject in commas. Frances Haugen, a former Facebook product manager, testified before the US Senate in 2021. — Efficient: it names and dates without stopping the argument.

2

In a “for instance” clause

The detail is introduced after the claim. Some regulators now fine platforms directly — Germany’s NetzDG, for instance, allows fines of up to €50 million. — Natural when you already have a general statement.

3

As a stand-alone sentence

The detail gets a whole sentence when it is the paragraph’s centre of gravity. In March 2019, a gunman livestreamed the Christchurch mosque shootings in New Zealand, killing 51 people. — Strongest placement, and the one to use for your best example.

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3. The six types of concrete detail

Learn to recognise each type so you can (a) spot it in what you read and (b) deliberately fish for it when a paragraph feels thin. Tap a card to open it: each gives a demonstration and a how to find it method.

1 Statistical figures统计数字
DemoThe Cambridge Analytica scandal of 2018 involved the personal data of 87 million Facebook users.
Why it worksA number is the most falsifiable detail there is: it commits you to a quantity the examiner can check. Always attach the source or year, or the number floats free.
How to find itSearch the claim plus a year and the word report, study or data — WHO, World Bank, UNESCO, IPCC, national statistics offices. Prefer a figure you can restate conservatively (“about 87 million”, “more than eight million a year”) rather than one you only half-remember.
2 Named people具名人物
DemoThe whistleblower Frances Haugen testified before the United States Senate in 2021 that Facebook’s own research showed its algorithms pushed users toward extreme content.
Why it worksA name makes a claim personal and accountable, and it signals that you follow the debate rather than repeating a summary of it.
How to find itAsk “who did this, and who complained about it?” — a scientist, a whistleblower, a campaigner, a politician. Even one name plus what that person did and when turns “many experts say” into evidence.
3 Dated events带日期事件
DemoIn March 2019, a gunman livestreamed the Christchurch mosque shootings in New Zealand, killing 51 people, and the video circulated for hours before it was removed.
Why it worksAn event with a date and a place is a mini case study: it shows what actually happened, which is far harder to argue with than a generalisation.
How to find itMine your own reading for turning points — a disaster, a trial, a protest, an election. Keep a running list of five to ten events you know well enough to explain in one sentence, and rewrite any vague claim as “In [month year], [what happened].”
4 Places and institutions地点与机构
DemoUnited Nations investigators concluded in 2018 that Facebook had played a “contributing role” in the violence against the Rohingya in Myanmar.
Why it worksInstitutions carry authority and places make an example real. “Studies show” is worthless; “the WHO”, “the World Bank”, “UNESCO”, “the IPCC” are evidence.
How to find itMatch topic to body: climate → IPCC and UNEP; health → WHO; education and culture → UNESCO; money and poverty → the World Bank and IMF; labour → the ILO. Then name the jurisdiction — Germany, the EU, Ireland, Australia — because laws and enforcement are always local.
5 Laws and policies法律政策
DemoSection 230 of the United States Communications Decency Act, passed in 1996, shields online platforms from being treated as the “publisher” of user content.
Why it worksA statute or treaty is the strongest form of the word “because”: it shows a rule that actually governs behaviour, with a name, a date and an actor behind it.
How to find itFor any topic, ask “is there a law about this?” Search the topic plus act, law, regulation or directive with a country or the EU. Note the year it passed and who enforces it — a fine is only real if someone can impose it.
6 Comparative cases对比案例
DemoGermany’s NetzDG (2017) fines platforms up to €50 million for failing to remove illegal hate speech, whereas the United States still relies on Section 230 and imposes no comparable duty to remove.
Why it worksTwo facts in contrast generate an argument by themselves — one shows that a rule can exist, the other shows what changes without it. This is the fastest way to earn Argument marks.
How to find itTake any claim and ask “where did this go differently?” Compare two countries, two decades (1990 vs today), or two systems (public vs private, ban vs fine). Even one well-chosen contrast turns a single fact into a paragraph.
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4. How to write it: ten sentence templates (before → after)

Copy the shape, swap the content. Each template takes a vague sentence and turns it into one carrying a concrete detail. Read the before line, cover the after line, then rewrite it yourself with your own topic.

TEMPLATE 1 · Attribute to a body
According to [institution], [specific figure or finding] — which means [what it implies].
✗ Air pollution is a serious health risk in many cities.
✓ According to the WHO, outdoor air pollution was linked to about 4.2 million deaths a year in its 2016 estimates — which means the risk is not a nuisance but a leading cause of death.
Use when: you have a number but no person to hang it on. The institution is what makes it evidence.
TEMPLATE 2 · Anchor an event in time
When [event] happened in [year], [consequence that supports your point].
✗ Videos of violence spread very fast on social media.
✓ When a gunman livestreamed the Christchurch shootings in March 2019, the footage spread for hours before removal — proof that live video outruns moderation.
Use when: you want a case study. Month plus year plus place beats “recently”.
TEMPLATE 3 · Open a case
Take the case of [place], where [detail] — a reminder that [your claim].
✗ Technology can even cause violence in some countries.
✓ Take the case of Myanmar, where UN investigators in 2018 found Facebook had played a “contributing role” in anti-Rohingya violence — a reminder that a platform with no local moderators can amplify a country’s worst instincts.
Use when: your claim sounds abstract and one country can make it vivid. Name the place, then the finding.
TEMPLATE 4 · Lead with the actor and the year
In [year], [named actor] [did one specific thing], and [the result].
✗ Governments have started to regulate big technology companies.
✓ In 2017 Germany passed NetzDG, letting regulators fine platforms up to €50 million for failing to remove illegal hate speech — the first time a democracy put a price on inaction.
Use when: you are countering “nothing is being done”. Actor + year + mechanism + consequence is a complete argument.
TEMPLATE 5 · Name a person, then their relevance
[Named person], who [did what] in [year], [revealed / proved / challenged] [your point].
✗ Many insiders have criticised how social media companies work.
✓ Frances Haugen, who testified before the US Senate in 2021, revealed that the company’s own research showed its algorithms pushed users toward extreme content — the criticism came from inside, not from rivals.
Use when: you want authority with a human face. Say who they are, when, and what they showed.
TEMPLATE 6 · Set two cases against each other
[Case A, with detail], whereas [Case B, with detail] — so [the contrast proves the claim].
✗ Different countries have different rules about online content.
✓ Germany’s NetzDG (2017) fines platforms up to €50 million for leaving illegal hate speech up, whereas the United States still relies on Section 230 (1996) and sets no comparable duty — so the difference is political will, not technical possibility.
Use when: you need Argument marks. Two facts in opposition do the arguing for you.
TEMPLATE 7 · Scale the number for the reader
[Figure] — that is, [everyday comparison that makes it mean something].
✗ A huge number of people were affected by the data scandal.
✓ Cambridge Analytica harvested the data of 87 million users — that is, roughly one in every four adults in the United States at the time.
Use when: a number is too large to feel like anything. Convert it into a proportion or a familiar unit — but keep the raw figure too.
TEMPLATE 8 · Turn the other side’s example against it
Even [the opposing side’s own case], [detail], shows that [your claim].
✗ Social media companies say they care about safety, but they do not.
✓ Even by the companies’ own accounts, Facebook told investors in 2021 that it removes millions of pieces of hate speech every quarter — a figure that proves both that the problem is vast and that the platform has the power to act on it.
Use when: you concede a point (see also Template 9) and want the concession to help you, not hurt you.
TEMPLATE 9 · Concede, then deploy a law
Admittedly [strongest opposing point]. Yet [law / policy, with year], which [what it does], shows [your answer].
✗ Some people worry regulation will hurt free speech, but I still think it is needed.
✓ Admittedly, over-removal can silence legitimate speech. Yet the EU’s Digital Services Act, agreed in 2022, requires large platforms to run independent audits and open data to researchers instead of judging truth themselves — showing precise regulation is possible.
Use when: the counterargument is real. Concede it fully, then answer it with an actual policy rather than a wish.
TEMPLATE 10 · State the exact rule
The law is precise about this: [law, year] [does exactly what] — so [the consequence].
✗ There are rules that limit how companies can use our data.
✓ The law is precise about this: Ireland’s Data Protection Commission fined Meta €1.2 billion in May 2023 for mishandling user data — so the limit is enforced, not merely written down.
Use when: you want to end a paragraph on certainty. The colon lets you deliver the detail like a verdict.
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5. Concrete detail bank, by topic

Learn a handful of these in each area and you can answer almost any General Paper prompt. Each entry has a year plus a number, name or institution. Read them as models of the shape of a good detail — then verify any figure before you rely on it in an exam.

Environment & climate环境与气候

  • The Paris Agreement was adopted in 2015 by 196 parties at COP21 and aims to keep warming well below 2 °C, pursuing 1.5 °C.
  • The IPCC’s 2021 report found global surface temperature had risen about 1.1 °C above the 1850–1900 baseline, and that human influence is “unequivocal”.
  • Greta Thunberg, then 15, began her school strike outside the Swedish parliament in August 2018, launching Fridays for Future.
  • The Montreal Protocol (1987) phased out CFCs and is credited with protecting the ozone layer — the treaty most often cited as a working model.
  • The EU agreed in 2023 to require all new cars sold from 2035 to have zero emissions.
  • The 1997 Kyoto Protocol set binding emission targets for developed countries, but the United States never ratified it.

Technology & social media科技与社交媒体

  • Section 230 of the US Communications Decency Act (1996) shields platforms from liability for user content.
  • The Cambridge Analytica scandal (2018) involved the personal data of 87 million users.
  • Frances Haugen testified before the US Senate in 2021 that the company’s own research showed algorithms pushed extreme content.
  • The EU’s Digital Services Act, agreed in 2022, requires large platforms to remove illegal content and to audit their systems.
  • Elon Musk bought Twitter for $44 billion in October 2022 and renamed it X.
  • Facebook reported nearly 3 billion monthly active users in 2021 — a scale no national regulator can match alone.

Education教育

  • Finland has no national standardised tests before the matriculation exam at the end of upper secondary school — yet Finnish pupils have ranked near the top of PISA.
  • Malala Yousafzai was shot in October 2012 and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014; she had campaigned for girls’ schooling since 2008.
  • UN Sustainable Development Goal 4, adopted in 2015, commits governments to inclusive, equitable quality education by 2030.
  • The US Every Student Succeeds Act (December 2015) replaced No Child Left Behind and shifted power back to states.
  • Brazil’s Bolsa Família programme, launched in 2003, pays cash to poor families on condition that children attend school.
  • The UK raised the school leaving age to 18 in 2015, under the Education and Skills Act 2008.

Health & public health健康与公共卫生

  • The WHO declared COVID-19 a pandemic on 11 March 2020.
  • Smallpox was declared eradicated in 1980 — the first human disease eliminated by vaccination.
  • The WHO estimates that tobacco kills more than 8 million people a year, including about 1.3 million non-smokers exposed to second-hand smoke.
  • Jonas Salk’s polio vaccine was declared safe and effective on 12 April 1955; polio cases then fell by over 99% worldwide.
  • The WHO’s Framework Convention on Tobacco Control came into force in 2005 and is one of the most widely ratified UN treaties.
  • Global measles deaths fell by about 73% between 2000 and 2018, according to WHO estimates, mainly through vaccination.

Sport体育

  • At the 1968 Mexico City Olympics, Tommie Smith and John Carlos raised Black Power fists on the podium on 16 October 1968 and were expelled.
  • Jesse Owens won four gold medals at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, in front of Adolf Hitler.
  • Title IX — signed in the United States in 1972 — required equal opportunity in federally funded education, including school sport.
  • South Africa was excluded from the Olympics from 1964 over apartheid, and was readmitted in 1992.
  • Spyridon Louis won the first modern Olympic marathon in Athens, 1896.
  • The US women’s national soccer team won the 2019 World Cup and later agreed a 2022 equal-pay deal with US Soccer after a lawsuit.

Culture & media文化与媒体

  • The BBC was founded in 1922 and is funded by a licence fee rather than advertising.
  • UNESCO’s World Heritage List inscribed its first sites in 1978; the list now covers over 1,100 sites.
  • Johannes Gutenberg printed his Bible with movable type around 1455 in Mainz, Germany.
  • The Manchester Guardian was founded in 1821 (it became The Guardian in 1959).
  • Netflix launched its streaming service in 2007, after mailing DVDs since 1997.
  • Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling between 1508 and 1512 for Pope Julius II.

Politics & governance政治与治理

  • The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted by the UN General Assembly on 10 December 1948.
  • Nelson Mandela was released from prison on 11 February 1990 and elected president in 1994.
  • The US Voting Rights Act was signed in 1965, banning racial discrimination in voting.
  • The Maastricht Treaty (1992) created the European Union and led to the euro.
  • Magna Carta was sealed at Runnymede in 1215 under King John.
  • New Zealand became the first country to give women the vote, in 1893.

Poverty & development贫困与发展

  • The World Bank defines extreme poverty as living on less than $2.15 a day (2017 prices), updated in 2022.
  • The share of the world living in extreme poverty fell from roughly 36% in 1990 to about 10% in 2015 (World Bank).
  • Muhammad Yunus and Grameen Bank won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2006 for microcredit.
  • The UN’s first Sustainable Development Goal (2015) is to end extreme poverty in all its forms by 2030.
  • China’s economic reforms began under Deng Xiaoping in 1978, after which hundreds of millions left poverty.
  • Estonia introduced internet voting nationally in 2005, the first country to do so.
Accuracy first. A wrong statistic is worse than no statistic: it destroys the Knowledge mark you were trying to earn. If you are not certain of a figure, write it conservatively (“about”, “more than”, “by the late 2010s”) or switch to a detail you do know — a name, a law or a dated event. Never invent a number, never invent a source, and check the year actually matches the fact.
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6. A full model essay at high CD density

Prompt: “Should social media companies be held responsible for the content on their platforms?” Below is a complete response with every concrete detail highlighted and annotated afterwards. Count the highlights: this is what a high-CD-density paragraph looks like — roughly one specific, checkable detail every two to three sentences.

Should social media companies be held responsible for the content on their platforms?
Word count: 601 Target for General Paper: 500–700 words Highlighted spans = concrete detail

The modern platform is not a library. A library chooses its books; a platform merely hosts what its users post, and the law has long treated that distinction as a shield. In the United States, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, passed in 1996, states that platforms are not “the publisher or speaker” of user content. That single sentence, written when Mark Zuckerberg was eleven years old, is the reason Facebook could grow from a Harvard dormitory project in 2004 into a company worth hundreds of billions. But the world the statute assumed no longer exists, and the damage it permits is now documented in courtrooms and in graveyards. Social media companies should be held responsible for the content they amplify, because their algorithms choose what to spread, their scale makes the harm global, and their failure to act has already cost lives. First, the distinction between hosting and amplifying is a legal fiction. When Facebook’s recommendation system promotes a post to a hundred million people, it is not passively storing it; it is choosing it. The clearest evidence came in 2018, when the Cambridge Analytica scandal revealed that the personal data of 87 million users had been harvested and used to target political advertising. The platform did not merely store that data; it enabled its abuse. In 2021, the whistleblower Frances Haugen testified before the United States Senate that Facebook’s own internal research showed its algorithms pushed users toward increasingly extreme content. If the company knew, and its internal documents say it did, then liability is not punishment; it is the ordinary cost of knowing. Second, the harm is not theoretical. In Myanmar, United Nations investigators concluded in 2018 that Facebook had played a “contributing role” in the violence against the Rohingya, because the platform let hate speech spread unchecked while the company employed almost no moderators who spoke Burmese. In March 2019, a gunman livestreamed the Christchurch mosque shootings in New Zealand, killing 51 people, and the video circulated for hours before it was removed. Each of these cases followed the same pattern: the platform learned of the danger too late, defended itself with the language of free expression, and promised afterward to do better. Admittedly, holding companies responsible raises real risks. Over-removal can silence legitimate speech, and a small startup cannot afford the moderation staff that a giant like Meta employs. Germany’s NetzDG, passed in 2017, fines platforms up to fifty million euros for failing to remove illegal hate speech, and critics warned that it would produce over-blocking. Yet the European Union’s Digital Services Act, agreed in 2022, sketches a more careful path: it requires the largest platforms to run independent audits and to open their data to researchers, without making a single company the judge of truth. Regulation can be precise; it simply has to be. The counterargument also fails on its own terms. Australia’s Online Safety Act of 2021 gave a regulator the power to order the takedown of abhorrent violent material, and the platforms complied. Ireland’s Data Protection Commission fined Meta 1.2 billion euros in May 2023 for mishandling user data, and Meta did not leave Europe. Companies adapt when the price of inaction is real. What they ignore is a fine they can absorb. The question, then, is not whether platforms should be responsible, but whether we will keep letting them be the only industry in history to profit from a product they refuse to stand behind. Section 230 was written to let a young internet grow. That internet has now grown up, and the shield has become the weapon. Responsibility is not censorship; it is the price of scale.

What each highlighted detail is doing

¶1 Hook + thesis. Section 230 / 1996 gives the essay its central legal object in the first three sentences — the examiner immediately knows the writer has a specific framework, not a mood. Mark Zuckerberg, age eleven dates the law to the company’s own prehistory. Harvard dormitory, 2004 supplies the named origin. Three details in one paragraph, all checkable.
¶2 Claim 1 — amplification is a choice. 2018 dates the Cambridge Analytica case; 87 million users makes the scale concrete; 2021 plus Frances Haugen before the US Senate supplies a named person and an institution. Two independent cases support one claim — that is the “two CDs per paragraph” rule in action.
¶3 Claim 2 — real-world harm. Myanmar plus UN investigators, 2018 gives place and authority; March 2019 plus Christchurch, 51 people gives a dated event with a body count. These are the strongest details in the essay and they are placed as stand-alone sentences, which is why the paragraph reads as evidence rather than assertion.
¶4 Concession answered with a law. NetzDG, 2017 and €50 million show that a democracy can put a price on inaction; the EU’s Digital Services Act, 2022 answers the concession with a policy rather than a wish. Note the pattern: concede fully, then produce a specific mechanism.
¶5 Counterargument defeated by cases. Australia’s Online Safety Act, 2021 and Ireland’s €1.2 billion fine, May 2023 are a comparative pair — two jurisdictions, two mechanisms, one result: companies comply when the penalty is real.
¶6 Conclusion. Section 230 returns as a callback, so the essay closes on the object it opened with. No new evidence, no restatement of the introduction line by line — only the widened stake.
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7. Self-check: spot, revise and classify

Nine questions. Tap an option to select it — nothing is graded yet — then press ✔ Check to score that question. A wrong answer is not revealed; when you want the answer and the reasoning, press 🔑 Answer Key and confirm.

0 / 9 checked
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